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I release you my love and with that the attachments that go with this life of driving a vision. The call is deep and wide with neverending horizons. Together we have faced the boundries of our choices. No loss, no gain but another trial of finding each other and letting go. The love remains and it actually grows so the light remains shining for next time we do meet. And we will meet finding each other once again as our magnetic selves seek each other.

For now, we part only in a world of duality but we did it well. We played hard and played true. Then we came upon a crossroad and it was bewildering. How could this be? How could such love take such a turn? How could love be a cause of suffering. Aaaah but we know too well the personality has a life of sorting even in the face of great soulful will. It is what it is and life goes on.

For me, I now see who I am in a way never unveiled before. With very hard labor I have ventured across a sea of veils that delivered me to this thoughtful place. I have lived. I have died and I’ll continue the cycle. Yet I know more now than before. Wisdom has been gifted to me by my very own slay of the hand.

Nothingness I return to awaiting the next call, awaiting the tap on the shoulder to re-enter form. I know this is my moment to enthuse yet another form, yet another adventure and yet another probable place of departure. Whether the form remains by my side or goes another direction I will remember the protocol, the potential suffering and pain and make wiser choices along the way. Yet while in the duality I will enjoy, be full, present and enthuse to the best of my ability. My soul would not have it any other way. And in each and every moment as I feel the deep calling from within I will remember the nothingness that brought me to this now and I will be grateful that I had the opportunity to relish in a place that I come from and relish in this place as I am form. It can be no other way.

Choices, yes, and changes right behind them. Can we sustain the middle path?

Awakened at 3am…usually a call to listen deeply…love the silence at that hour. Deep within the energies dance, the light flashes and life is abundant.

I remember a dream this past year of going through some dimensional portal, a wobble of sorts, and on the other side everywhere I turned there was peace…no one needed or wanted anything because they had all they needed and wanted. Families were picnicing and life was simply unintrucive. Alongside another star be-ing friend of mine who is in the physical in this lifetime we had rifles in our hands…at the same moment we looked at each other and went “duh uh” these are no longer needed…it is a time to disarm!

It seems that “disarming” is a good call, synonymous with “surrender”. We are be-ing infused with such heightened vibration unlike any before. I suppose the guardedness we have each carried had its time and place but now it seems very outdated. for what are we guarding ourselves from? And who is doing the guarding?

I have read many articles of late that elaborate on instant manifestation these days. I like to actually call it “femifestation” as that reflects the divine feminine and creation. Anyway I was under the idea that femifestation only meant the abundance and brightness we are choosing in our world. However the other day another insight and experience came to me. I watched myself create, femifest not such brightness (now we could actually use the word “manifest – a reference to an enslaved and otherwise known, patriarchy). Anyway, it was as though I dragged myself over the coals emotionally. Every moment of it I was aware of what I was doing but I couldn’t stop myself. Although while in it the “observer” in me was trying to set the records right and get back to the love…the ease and the effortlessness. Finally that did occur but I had to ask what was that all about?

After some reflection I realized that this was a little test for myself to remind me it is best to watch EVERY iota of a thought, emotional reflex and on and on. The responses we may have from diminshed realities are going to simply kick our butts. So, back to surrender and disarmament…it seems a good protocol for these days unless backlash is something we want?!

I was reminded to journal our changes in this glorious time of evolution. As we experience our physical bodies adapting to the earth shift we note there are new and many changes. Our first impulse is to try to find something outside of ourselves to gain some understanding. Truth is,there is nothing outside ourselves to explain the changes that are occurring in these times.

In my stillness and observation of new inner experiences I can feel the molecules actually re-aligning and perhaps mutating inside of me. There is a dance going on and a light show and an audio of frequencies to complement the new resonant cycle. I observe my own self as a mathmatical equation or a new acoustical physics design. There is something elaborate and multi-faceted with how I feel.

Many meditations I focus on the mind of the cell. I sense that if I can open an intelligent rapport with one cell then it will inform all the other cells. It simplifies my approach doing it this way.

Within you and because of you I enthuse form. Whatever is presented to me if asked of me I will perform my holy task. If and when you are full and need to breathe of your own formlessness I gracefully depart. I remain beside you at all times but only appear upon the invitation.

Attachment seems to be a necessary feature in our acts upon the earth. Or perhaps it is more of a full immersion in order to truly savor and co-create within the “matter” at hand. At all moments the option to exist to be non-attached, in fact, is a necessary act of communion with the divine. It is not irreverent to be fully engage in any aspect of earthly experience. In fact, it is the point. However the eternal bliss seeks your company to offer the fluffy ground that we occassionally must fall into. Every so often it is good for the soul to release, let go and take a breath of nothingness. For this is each one of our divine rites and divine source of nourishment. For without it we only suffer and remain ignorant. But with it we are nourished and vitalized. It takes divine vitality to simply exist. Otherwise there would be no life.

So fully engage in lfe and when you meet those crossroads of disbelief and dissappointment this is simply a calling to return home. We do this over and over and over right here on earth. There is no mystery to this availability nor do we need to have a physical death in order to experience it. It’s a rather blatant and reoccurring phenomenon and open to all. The way stations on this journey of life are like clicking our heels 3 times and we are home. Just click your heels when you need to resource. Then happily re-enter form and do the best you can. Share your greater self and watch the world around you light up.

In the meantime, as you sit and exist in nothingness and there seems to be no impulse or what we term as inspiration this is the pointer to be still and thoroughly love yourself. This self embrace is what makes it all good…the nothingness-formless and the form. The dance between is the playland of the soul. Observe these transitions and fine spiritual deaths and re-be-earths. Note nothing is ever lost…nothing is simply the return to source. Empower yourself as these moments occur and reoccur throughout life. Watch the cycles and learn the signs and be open to receiving. Form will always be seeking your divine grace, the divine vitality in its appropriate time. Personality will go vacant here and there but this is simply the nature of who we are in this earthly existence. The soul, the higher self is forever present and when called upon to create it will arrive perfectly on time, in sync with all.

It is these still moments that we have the opportunity to listen and the choice to not bury ourselves with “over thought” allow, allow, allow and trust, trust, trust. We simply are not used to this part of ourselves, this part of divine reality. It has been given a bad rap for all existence and it has separated us for all of existence. Our environment and culture has not nurtured this tender part of our be-ing and so it seems foreign and even incorrect. Yet we keep searching to fill an empty void that is never fullfilled from without. Ultimately, we turn inward and start the journey of knowing who we really are. Yet once in this direction there are a multitude of veils and lies that we must go through and intuit our direction. It can be bumpy for quite awhile but wisdom is gained in each and every step. The path can be lonely and desperate at times but something continues to call from within. Follow it. Swallow it. There are no other options, no ways out. The way is in. We are doing this together, as a group, as a world. That’s when we know we are no longer alone but our very special journey will always be unique to each and every one of us.

I am the unmanifested, the unfemifested observing the multi layers and veils dissolve in rapidity. What I am left with is surrender, allowing and receiving…great leaps of trust. I get acquainted with unknowing and can only be in this moment.

What is my higher purpose? To be, to enthuse from within, to see who am I once the interruptions of thought, analysis, diagnosis has vanished. In essence, I vanish…then I am.
Can I accept who I am? Can I embrace with loving arms the continual depth of nothingness and know this depth is how I serve? That is continually being revealed each and every moment. Can I trust what I am left with when every iota of illusion falls away? That’s what I am with no disguise.

Of late I have noted my very essence yearns to enthuse other and fire up the unfolding potential. But there is a pitfall, one to be examined very closely. As I enter you or that and enthuse, the question I ask “Am I vicariously living my attachment through other or that? Is this potential that I see, this light that shines before my very heart overflowing with brilliance another of me? Is this other of me, at a distance, a deluded exercise of illusion that I disguise as not my responsibility yet my act of attachment through you, through that? As without you, without that the potent nothingness comes quickly back to me. Is the “other” and the “that” somehow a buffer for my own self service?

As I detach from these episodes of enthusing other I go flat, I fall directly into the abyss. I experience my nothingness elsewhere and albeit I have developed a deeper relation. Thus upon departure I fall more greatly than when I entered. Then who am I? Same being only further into nothingness with less illusion to hold on to. I experience all the fears and agonies of release and the superficial security gone yet that something that led me there, that yearned to enthuse walks away with me, perhaps a bit amorphous but none the less walks away with me.

Could it be that nothingness simply is unrecognizable in our existing world? Is it that illusion is so multi-faceted that we are deceived at the many levels of release? Absolutely! The delusion is deep, thick and ever consuming. That’s why the path can and is so grueling at times. It’s an infinite release of toxic waste no different from the earth spitting her dark phlegm. But do we dare? Is the spark within lit enough now that there is no doubt? Eventually, yes! So forward we go great warriors of light. Out of the nothingness we light up the world.

boldly i enter yet another form so innocently and naive…it’s simply what i do….the heart pulses and the direction is before me, no turning away just going forth…
blindly decisions are made, emotions are swaying and the observer in-courages me on…

i support whatever and wherever i am…i light up worlds and i leave them…missions seem to get accomplished…things seem to grow and then i curl back into the cacoon to become something else, to be drawn to another form that reaches for light, reaches for enthios…

as i approach and enthuse what is i am fully in form,
the form that now has my attention and presence…
as i depart i return to the formless and i am suspended awaiting the next mission…
in the interim i self examine over and over and over who am i?
i have returned to nothingness and no longer recognize myself…i am no longer who i was when on task…i am now regrouping with nothing… therefore nothing occurs…

now i embrace this life theme and recognize all the patterns and angst trying to understand who i was when i no longer was on task…
i simply return to the nothingness that i am

illusion had me by the heels as i became the form i enthused, fully engaged, fully committed, absolute dedication
the departure time would near and my fear would arise knowing the abyss that awaited me…always a reorientation to what is…

however now i recognize the path and i begin to rejoice at the return home that always awaited me after mission completed
the difference this time is i know the form will experience a meltdown and this is to be celebrated
yes, i return to not knowing and the grace of god/goddess within
it’s simply the divine process of going home over and over and over again

i am home now, formless and in the enthios of my own divine self
there is nowhere for me to go or ponder or conjure
i simply am that i am and await the next calling
but this time i know more than i did before
i know i will re-enter form for form sake not for I

when i re-enter i will recognize all the brilliance and potential of the new form
i will conquer the existing illusion and bring light into matter
i will co-create a better existence in whatever i do, whatever i enthuse
i will witness growth and destruction by my very nature of presence
i will observe the tears of departure and fear
i will comfort the soul as long as it wants me
then i will depart at the brim of overflowing and allow all to be what it is to be
only this time i will recognize the signs and prepare my journey away in silence and knowing and integrity
that is simply what occurs
these are the aftermath of war and crisis
this is when the radiant sun is too much to bare
sun must retreat and allow the growth to occur

only this time i don’t walk away injured
in fact, this time i stay to watch, to observe what indeed is to follow with me no longer within the form
this time i witness my own divinity seeded into maturity
this time i lovingly watch my children grow and wean and evolve
this time i sit quietly in my silence and formlessness knowing i have done great deeds and will do more
there can be no attachments, the attachments are removed
i only partook as part of the serving
i now release as part of the completion
there is no wonder anymore of why i return to this formless nothingness
it is where i came from and it is where i return each time after battle
i am home now, recovering, gaining wisdom and preparing for the next adventure
i will re-enter again as i always do
only this time i truly have divorced myself from the illusion
this time i really know the illusion is what i came to dissolve and illusion is what i walk away from…no strings attached, no memories or hope…simply a “spiritual walk-away” knowing it is a pattern, a spiritual pattern, a life theme that no longer creates anguish in my heart…simply a celebration of complete devotion

boldly i enter yet another form so innocently and naive…it’s simply what i do….the heart pulses and the direction is before me, no turning away just going forth…
blindly decisions are made, emotions are swaying and the observer in-courages me on…

i support whatever and wherever i am…i light up worlds and i leave them…missions seem to get accomplished…things seem to grow and then i curl back into the cacoon to become something else, to be drawn to another form that reaches for light, reaches for enthios…

as i approach and enthuse what is i am fully in form,
the form that now has my attention and presence…
as i depart i return to the formless and i am suspended awaiting the next mission…
in the interim i self examine over and over and over who am i?
i have returned to nothingness and no longer recognize myself…i am no longer who i was when on task…i am now regrouping with nothing… therefore nothing occurs…

now i embrace this life theme and recognize all the patterns and angst trying to understand who i was when i no longer was on task…
i simply return to the nothingness that i am

illusion had me by the heels as i became the form i enthused, fully engaged, fully committed, absolute dedication
the departure time would near and my fear would arise knowing the abyss that awaited me…always a reorientation to what is…

however now i recognize the path and i begin to rejoice at the return home that always awaited me after mission completed
the difference this time is i know the form will experience a meltdown and this is to be celebrated
yes, i return to not knowing and the grace of god/goddess within
it’s simply the divine process of going home over and over and over again

i am home now, formless and in the enthios of my own divine self
there is nowhere for me to go or ponder or conjure
i simply am that i am and await the next calling
but this time i know more than i did before
i know i will re-enter form for form sake not for I

when i re-enter i will recognize all the brilliance and potential of the new form
i will conquer the existing illusion and bring light into matter
i will co-create a better existence in whatever i do, whatever i enthuse
i will witness growth and destruction by my very nature of presence
i will observe the tears of departure and fear
i will comfort the soul as long as it wants me
then i will depart at the brim of overflowing and allow all to be what it is to be
only this time i will recognize the signs and prepare my journey away in silence and knowing and integrity
that is simply what occurs
these are the aftermath of war and crisis
this is when the radiant sun is too much to bare
sun must retreat and allow the growth to occur

only this time i don’t walk away injured
in fact, this time i stay to watch, to observe what indeed is to follow with me no longer within the form
this time i witness my own divinity seeded into maturity
this time i lovingly watch my children grow and wean and evolve
this time i sit quietly in my silence and formlessness knowing i have done great deeds and will do more
there can be no attachments, the attachments are removed
i only partook as part of the serving
i now release as part of the completion
there is no wonder anymore of why i return to this formless nothingness
it is where i came from and it is where i return each time after battle
i am home now, recovering, gaining wisdom and preparing for the next adventure
i will re-enter again as i always do
only this time i truly have divorced myself from the illusion
this time i really know the illusion is what i came to dissolve and illusion is what i walk away from…no strings attached, no memories or hope…simply a “spiritual walk-away” knowing it is a pattern, a spiritual pattern, a life theme that no longer creates anguish in my heart…simply a celebration of complete devotion

I am the adventure of my life. I am self created in each and every moment. The deep contact that calls me within is ever unfolding. I only need to dare to embrace the stillness, feel the heightened vibration and listen.

I reach for the akashic records knowing I find myself there and the truths of the ancestors. Respectfully I invite the love wisdom of all times. I call out to existences I cannot see but experience in a welcomed knowing. I know better than to put these awarenesses into writing, into thought or limited imagination…for my imagination is limitlessness. We are all stars of brilliance…if only we can get out of the box, the prison, the enslavement. It’s actually very easy to see…comes in glimpses… yet what a stranglehold we have allowed it to become. Dumbed down, made small and then we wonder where is the “more” to life? The ancients have repeatedly said “it’s all right under your nose, just allow, surrender”. And so the story has gone on for eons…long in linear terms but just a breath in the breathless.

Another day, another study with a repeated voice saying “take your power and go home”. A sadness prevails as it has all of this lifetime. At first it was so personal then it became the world and overwhelming. Now…it seems an expression of knowing what of this earthly adventure we are releasing, letting go of and allowing the cleanse that precedes the new be-earth. Sadness indeed, similar to a fast… you are truly cleansing and all seems to crumble by your side. And although what falls is no longer necessary we mourn just the same, our eyes tear up and the lasts of attachments struggle to maintain a grasp. But the unfolding kicks butt…you know it has to go…there is no where else to look…something is over. Even when an ending presents itself it can be for the good or not. None the less, it is still a release…something falls away…and we feel a loss.

New day, new way…what brilliance softens the substance on which we tread
We walk upon the rubble of what is dead,
decaying carcasses and what is unsaid
Yet each of us knows hidden deep in our DNA
that not only are we finding
but we are creating this new day

I am the adventure…not a thing out there, not a stone unturned. I am a self study, a growing organism of fate with a starseed of fixed design. Thank goodness for the dancing molecules or boredom would truly have a deeper stake. Color, light, vibration…the simple movement in ethereal flight that dowses spaciousness day and night. I hold these alchemical elements and revere their vitality as without them I have no life.

There is a frequency, a subtle sound alongside the earth breathing and echoing her deepest wishes to us. The Mother, Divine Feminine is receptive to the starry influences and organics of evolution. She is not of like consciousness struggling with the infinite ego of blindness. She is free, ever unfolding. She recognizes the air and her body needing cleansing and so she purges in the way that she knows. There is no harboring of grief or regret…she simply is and allows natural movement.

We on the otherhand also have the same impulses and movements in us to cleanse and evolve. But we have intelligent consciousness that is rather occupied with ego. The hardest scenario be-ing “separation”, the do this, don’t do that…continual re-evaluation, self analysis…..and if we look to the Mother and mirror her there is simply peace with what is. Peace with what IS.

Every moment presents a new practice, a new set of skills but we are all graduates with every tool necessary to join with oneness, our home. Gently in the awakening moments I nudge myself to go within, find all within…even the greeting of the new day. My relationship to this moment is, yes, hello to the new day energies and, yes, it is the sensations from within that I join in conversation. This is the practice of the moment.

As I see and recognize that I am looking from without. I gently guide my focus back to within. I acknowledge that every thought, breath and insight is all residing there awaiting my embrace. It’s no wonder that I have sought such quietude in my life. I am nurturing and cultivating a steadfast focus of living from within…all of it…nothing left behind or out.

A thought will arrive or an observation outside myself and I note its outer coordinate. Then I adjust the coordinate, place it within my be-ing and continue from there. All remains connected. It is simply the place from where I observe. Or one could say it is where the “observer” seems most astute and helpful.

There’s an empowerment awaiting each and every one of us. The perspective of the world is managable on a spiritual and physical level as long as we get our original destination point in place. It just takes a moment of noticing where is the mind operating from? Then it’s a sensation of finding mind from deep within the pocket of this glorious humon vessel.

Often there is an experience that as we think the thoughts are somewhere out there…floating around the outer head zone. In truth the energetic sphere of mental is about that big. Those are the feelers, connectors doing just what they were created to do. However that subtle and physical apparatus can carry our inner awareness with it as well. This is where one can realign that very focus.

Imagine the mind doing its creative thing like thought only when the thoughts arrive imagine that there is that special location within the heart area and the thoughts are filtering from there. Not only are they deriving source from there they are turning back into the self having dialogue there. The whole conversation is happening there. We could even create a gestalt scenario of higher self and ego sitting in 2 comfortable chairs residing perfectly in the heart zone. Ego speaks thinking its out there somewhere in the whirl of the world and higher self responds gently bringing ego awareness to back within. So here’s ego always trying to go out there somewhere and higher self always saying, hey, come back, I’m here. Eventually higher self takes the lead as higher self is forever and ego truly has a short life span. One is immortality the other is not. So the wisdom and ongoingness of higher self is rooted firmly in infinity and awaits ego’s release of distraction and short lived dreams. Aaaaaah, the moment of togetherness, never alone. Now all is in divine order.

I breathe and I observe. “I” be-ing the key exploration. No more do-ing for me, she says…but it happens…do-ing gets in there and then you wonder how that happened?! Wondering is a do-ing thang too. Oy! That too, huh?!

Okay let’s start again…breathe…observe….wow, this goes on forever. That’s the point…forever…but go more deeply into that…feel it…let the feel take you on the journey…let the mind take a break…long deserved as well.

It is endless where the mind will take us and it’s challenging to truly let the mind have its proper space while the higher self is the present grace. Round and round we go and glimpses do appear. But do we remember how we came to a glimpse? Quietly, the essence embraces all…not quite like anything else but it is there over and over and over. Will I simply remember to allow…accept…embrace this knowing as the portal to my infinity? Do I dare?